Saturday, October 16, 2010

Dreamless Days and Haunted Nights

I'm... so tired. My eye lids weigh thousands of pounds, yet I can't sleep. Never. Not for a wink. Delirium and insanity dance through my brain. Hallucination dreams needle through my mind, confounding me, haunting me. I will have no peace without the pills. My body however, is beginning to reject them. Those little white cylinders. What are they anyways? Bite size doses of black magic, packaged up innocently. When the bastards get in, they burrow like moles. Eating away at my stomach lining, as I cringe before I finally find peace curled up in a sweaty ball.
The wooden floors abrade my back as I pray to some non-existent god for rapture. Please. Anything. Start a new apocalypse, a faster moving one. One with quick results. Anything to end this cursed somnambulist lifestyle.

Each day my twitch grows more erratic, and more people lend me shady eyes. I live each day as a waking spirit, haunting my own hell. Moving forward through the day only to return to my vile nest. Warily certain that this night could possibly contain some peaceful sleep-- but it won't. It never does. Not until I choke down those dopamine dispensers, and croak to a fake slumber. The wiring in my brain must be loose. There must be dust on the receptors, or gum on the components. Either way, the signals are not transmitting properly. Maybe if i could get in there, with some kind of tool. I could find peace. Peace through self surgery. At this point, anything seems like a great idea. My soul has melted to the floor, and my shadow prays me to go on. I want to go to the closet, and find a wire hanger. I want to do my great experiment. I want to find the oasis of peace at last.

But I don't. I just sit in my wretched state. Staring at the faded lacquered walls beside me. Finally it catches, another hallucination. I am awake yet asleep. Torn between two awful worlds. Unable to process data in either, I sweat and try to shriek. But all that emits from my mouth is a static electronic tone. I'm trapped. Trapped in my own mind. I finally awaken from my trance. Pools of dull maroon blood emit a thick iron smell. I can hear a dripping rhythmically coming from my ears. A bended coat hanger lies on the floor in the blood. Is this nightmare over? I stand up and immediately fall down. My world fades to white. Time to wake up and go to sleep. At last.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Into the Sky

I started at the bottom of the massive stalk
staring up toward the infinite sky,
I climbed.
My hands clung to the strangely hairy
green massive plant.

My palms were tacky enough to stick to the base.
The random offshoots of leaves
and branches
were my foot holds.
I started to notice the darkening navy sky
looking at me,
judging me,
as I scaled the massive plant.

The stars and moon were jetting by me
moving faster and faster, as I gained altitude.
They became white speckled blurs
as they melded together.

The cold nip of the breeze was starting to make my eyes water,
and numb my ears,
then my toes
and finally my fingers.
I did not stop climbing, however.

By now, I could see no background.
The stars and moon had left me.
I was now climbing into infinity.
Climbing with callused and numb hands,
toward uncertainty.
The end of the world?
Or beginning?
Who could be certain.
All I knew was that I must continue
Into the non-ending sky.