Sunday, December 20, 2009


I am stuck
In this crusty white T-shirt.
The seams are
stretched and brown.
I can draw a road map
on stains from
years ago.

This collar is ragged
stretched like a taffy
of a warm childhood memory.

It still fits
Nestled to my shapely body.
Showing me warmth
while the seasons wither away.

My bodily protector will outlast
all of the world's nations.
This slab of fabric will prevail,
coupling me in its sleeves of plush.

But it is just a T-shirt.
Some ragged piece of cloth--
A smelly flag of futility--
A covering
so tattered and worn.
Keeping me very

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Patient 86

So I finally awoke in a strange sweaty bed that wasn't mine. The room was foreign as well. Where the hell was I? A lone clock on the wall said 6:30. That was all it said. 6:30 in the morning. Maybe. There were no damn windows in this hole. Even if there were, how would I have known if it was dawn or dusk? The seasons acted so strange lately. I sat up and noticed I was wearing a hospital wristband that was speckled with maroon blood. Was this a hospital room? It sure didn't look like one. There was only a single light illuminating this place. A flickering dated 60-watt bulb, I presumed. My eyes slowly but surely adjusted to the low light. I continually wondered if it was night or day. My next order of business should be finding an exit, so I can determine my location and the time of day, and more importantly, why the hell I am here. I stayed in that stiff bed, and tried to think, but couldn’t. My eyes darted like lizards. I needed a way out.
On the east side of the room I noticed there was an opening in the cinderblock wall. From the bed I stared intensely. I was about to get up when I realized I was nude except for the hospital bracelet. Interesting, I pondered. I finally got out of the bed and immediately fell to the ground. My leg felt as if it were broken. I inspected it as my naked body lay on the cold cement floor. My ankle was swollen like a balloon. There were strips of red that surrounded the inflammation. Damn, it must be sprained. Well. At least it isn't broken.
I looked toward the opening. I would have to limp my way to freedom. God I wish I had some clothes. If anyone were to see me, they would fear insanity. I finally pushed myself up and stood with most of my weight on my right leg, the good one. I looked ahead and limped slowly out of this makeshift prison.
Before I left, I looked at the clock on the wall again. It still said 6:30. It must be broken. Still I could not distinguish day or night. I needed to keep going forward.
I crept through the opening silently, using my arms to keep the weight off my useless foot. I followed a dark corridor down a bit and noticed a legitimate door at the end. I made my way to it and tried the handle. Locked. Perfect. I jangled the door several times to no avail. There was no window on the door, nor was there light coming through the bottom crack. Famished and annoyed I limped back to the bed and collapsed.
I stared at the light in the ceiling and thought about my life. What was my life like? I couldn't remember any details. I wonder where those memories went? I turned to my side and wrapped my cold naked body in the white sheet on the bed and dozed off.
I came to, naked, confused, and scared. I sat up and looked around. Same room, same lousy light. My eyes gazed back at the clock. 8:30 it said. How can that be? I thought it was broken. What's it matter anyways? I still couldn't figure out if it were night or day. I inspected my wristband further. All that it said was "Patient 86", and beside it was a smattering of blood. My own blood, I assumed. I decided to get up once more and check that strange door. I pushed off of the bed and limped forward like before. I rounded the corner skillfully and made it to the door once more. I noticed a thin beam of light shooting under the crack of the door. I gasped at the sight. I hit the deck and tried to look under the door. The crack was too small to distinguish anything. I was not even sure if it was sunlight or artificial light. Still no answer to my burning question. Blinded by the excitement of the light I almost forgot to check the lock. I got up, sweating, and tried the handle. Still locked, and it would not budge. I exhaled with frustration, and limped back to the main room. I sat down at the edge of the bed, noticing again that the clock seemed to be stuck. This time it was affixed to 8:30. How strange. I got up and hobbled to the clock on the wall. I picked at it, but it was securely fastened. My head was beginning to throb and pound. Which is strange because I never got headaches, or did I? I couldn’t remember. I went back into the bed and once more fell asleep.
I can recall this strange dream I had. I was sitting under a tree in the yard when it began to lightly rain. I stayed under that tree for a long time. Soon it started pouring and I walked toward my house. The door was opened and my mother was yelling for me to come in. “Stephen, Stephen come in you’ll catch cold! “ Then she started yelling “ Oh Thomas, Thomas it;s freezing out come inside now!” I just stared at her, in the cold rain. I did not advance any closer. I sat down, on the drenched grass, and just stared at her. Then the dream ended, and I awoke all sweaty and sad. What a bad dream. I was now sure of one thing. My name was either Stephen or Thomas. Maybe. Or maybe it was something totally different. Dreams have a strange way of screwing with your mind.
I was back in this weird place, back to reality. A reality that seemed all too real or fake. I decided to check the door again, though I seriously doubted it would be open. I looked toward the wall with the clock but couldn’t make out what it said. It was very blurry. My eyesight had deteriorated quite heavily during that last sleep. How perplexing. Now more than ever I was yearning for some answers. I got up, the same way I had before, and limped forward. This time I walked to the wall where the clock was. It slowly came into focus, as I was about 2 feet away from it. The clock read 7:30. Nothing new, still confused, I made my way down the hall once more, this time quite disillusioned. I came upon the door and checked for the light. It was gone. I tried the handle. Locked, as usual. I sat down and began to tear up. What was going on in this world?
Suddenly the door burst open. I gasped and looked up. All I saw was this blurry man in what appeared to be a white lab coat. He stood tall and powerful. He approached me and then he spoke. “Ah patient 86 is awake”. He scribbled down something in his clipboard.
“Who… are you? Who am I? What’s going on!
That was all I could muster up. The tall blurry man just chuckled.
“You are patient 86 my friend, now lets get you back to your bed.” He bent down and picked me up and guided me back to the room.
“Wh.. Wh.. what’s going on?” I was sobbing, but still I walked. I had no energy to resist. We were back in the room and he made sure I lay back down in the bed.
“Now you sleep tight, patient 86.”
Right before he left he injected my arm with a needle. I tried to scream but no noise came out. I was immediately out cold.
When I finally awoke I was completely blind. I could see nothing. It was a horrifying feeling. At first in my delirious state I thought that my eyes were closed, or that the sheet was over my head. It wasn’t. I slowly came to realize that this horrible nightmare was getting worse. I cried for a spell, before slamming my head on the bed several times. Then I just laid with impunity for what seemed like a decade. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. I shuffled around the bed with anxiety before jumping up off the bed. As I hit the ground my ankle cracked and I went down. Shit, forgot that it was sprained. I yelled in anger for about 3 minutes.
After my yelling episode I just sat on the cold floor. Suddenly a voice sounded.” It is now 9:30.” It was a soft woman’s voice coming from the ceiling. This infuriated me further. Was it 9:30 AM or PM? I punched the bed with futility. I finally collected myself and stood up, and felt around the walls. I would try this damn door one last time. With my hands I guided my way to the opening. As I turned the corner, my eyes showed signs of life. I saw a strip of light coming from where the bottom of the door was. Maybe I wasn’t blind after all. The light must have just gone out. How strange. It must have been absolute darkness in that other room, I could not even see my hands below me. With a hint of excitement I crept closer and closer to the door. I was right before it. I held my breath for a while, and reached for the knob. Click. It opened. I slid the door open very slowly and light poured all around me. My eyes took awhile to adjust to the light, but at last I could see. The door lead outside. Right in front of me was grass. Beautiful green grass. I looked further and could see trees rustling in the wind. Most importantly I could see the sun. It was daytime.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Liquor on the Edge of a Rocks Glass

Liquor on the edge of a rocks glass
Slowly slipping
dripping into waiting lips.

Vice twisting and manipulating
marionette strings on your mouth
The devil's prose seeping into your ears.
Guiding, like an eye dog
toward the flaring furnace

The red hand snatches
delicately, at first.
Now gripping like a constrictor
every free willed movement.

Toward the night,
mannequins wander.
Empty headed simpletons
toward the holy flow,
of the blue veneered glass
on the reassuring bottle.

The puppet show commences
to form a slurred dance
on ashen ground
The earth shakes,
to the dangerous tones.

The fruit's been eaten tonight,
nothing is forbidden here.
The drones continue their contortions of desire
Eyes glaze, bodies clash
the fire continues to burn

Lips touch,
bodies merge.
Cerberus devours inhibition.
Your mechanical essence
Snaking further into the dark hole.

Shadows on the wall
break like waves
eating one another
ending in pitch black.
Desire fades away,
Lust soaks into the cracks.
Sober souls awaken
Their minds consumed into,

Forever darkness.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


I saw them again. The same people from before. They were still busy with something I couldn't understand.It was a guy and a girl, at least, it looked like a guy and a girl. They both had this long scraggly hair. One of them had a thick black beard that connected to the messy long hair.I classified him as the man. The two of them had on black work gloves, and moved through the night silently. I was watching from the window of my office, bored of work. It was close to midnight. My reports had gone un-filed, but I could not look up from this scene on the street. Could these men be crooks, or drug dealers ? They looked like lowlifes. Regardless, these people obviously had a plan, they were set to do a job of some sort. You could tell by their unwavering footsteps. They moved with precision. One carried a black case, the other held nothing.
"Jason, did you get those reports? "
My head jolted up from the window.
"Oh.. yeah. I'm finishing them right now"
"Good, Rick needs em' tomorrow"
My boss Steven then left. He and I were the only ones at the office this late at night. I doubted he cared about my lack of work. I'm sure he was in his office playing Tetris, just as mindlessly as I was spying out the window. I looked back out.
I couldn't see them anymore. They had gone missing. Where were they?
Ah, there they are. The duo was now at the doorway of an abandoned building. They had their backs to the wall. Something off color was certainly going on. I rolled my office chair a little closer to the window, so I could get comfortable. The subjects were still leaning against the wall, under the concrete ceiling. Smoke from their cigarettes was snaking up the building. I continued to watch, mesmerized.
In my mind what would happen next would be a grand bank heist, or drug deal gone wrong. One of them would get shot, and limp toward the getaway car. The all black van would speed around the corner, and they would throw the money, or drugs, or whatever inside, and speed off into the night.
But still they leaned, smoking their cigarettes in the dark. I watched them for another three minutes before losing my faith in an exciting climax. I slumped back in my chair, about to lose interest, when I suddenly saw the door open next to them. A short man in a suit walked out, and shook the ring leader's hand. My head perked up, surely this would be the drug deal, or some kind of illegal business. What excitement! My eyes were glued out the window.
" Hey Jason, I'm going to the vending machine... do you want anything? Hey what are you looking at?"
My boss walked over curiously.
"Shh... There's these strange people about to do something out there"
"Oh yeah?"
My boss leaned down next to the window and looked out as well.
"I don't see anything."
" There, next to the Law Office. A guy and a girl I think. With the black hair"
"Oh.. I see.. weird lookin' bastards. I think it's two guys."
We were both glued to the conversation that they were having, but we couldn't hear. We watched their lips moving frantically like typewriters, mouthing pertinent instructions. My heart was speeding.
Suddenly the suited man vanished back inside the building. The duo waited once more, inhaling cigarette fumes. The bearded man slyly pulled up the briefcase.
This could be it! Surely drugs or a bomb were contained within.
I felt a chill in my stomach. Steven stood deathly still. We watched intently.
"Maybe we should turn the lights out, so they can't see us." Steven said.
"Good idea."
He slowly crept up and went to the lights, and clicked them off. The room fell dark. He returned to his stoop next to me, looking out the window. The two humans were almost kneeling down with this case propped up. Steven and I could not look away, the moment of climax was about to unfold, right in-front of us!
"Ring ring ring," a cell phone beckoned.
"Holy shit!"
We both jumped a mile high.
"God dammit...Sorry, that's my kid texting me, I'll turn it off." Jason said, gasping for air.
My heart was pounding like a war drum.
We still watched outside, our heads crowding the window. My brow was gushing sweat.
At long last more figures appeared in the door.
"Should we call the police?"
"No no, just... just wait... after"
The short suited man lead out another guy, who was blindfolded. The original two crooks opened the box with excitement at the man. The suited man ripped off his blindfold. You could see the words mouthed " surprise! ". The formerly blindfolded man jumped in surprise. He had just gotten a birthday cake. A birthday cake ? That's it ? We were both holding our breath.
After about thirty seconds of silence, Steven stood up.
"Well.. Jason... I have to get back to my office."
"Yeah, I thought something else was going to ..."
Suddenly a car squealed to a stop in front of the building. A door opened, and two shots were fired. The man and suspected girl jumped into the van, and it sped off, as fast as it came. All that was left were two bloody bodies, and a spattered cake, ruined on the ground.
"Holy shit!"
Steven had his arms around me, and mine were around him. We were deathly still and scared.
"Some birthday", said Jason.

Thursday, September 10, 2009


And with that we were shooting off in millions of different directions. The little ones shot the furthest. The bigger ones sank down quickly. We were out of the flesh prison at last. We floated down to mother earth, desperate to survive. Some found tiny cracks and crevasses to hibernate in, others were fortunate to find another host. Another prison. But this prison had much more potential. We gathered together and set up camp inside this new cave.

This new attack would have to be planned just right. For the first fortnight we hid in the shadows and compiled information. We analyzed all of the weak points of the structure. Alas, it was time. We floated down toward the dumb guards and overtook them almost immediately. We feasted on genetic material. The more skilled members moved quickly and quietly toward the command center. Once inside they overthrew the king. We had taken over. New instructions would now be necessary.

Make more clones, we demanded, at once! Within a brief window of time millions of factories were spitting out mirror images of us. We were winning the war. In time we would take over the entire host, and have our own nation. Reports were coming in daily from other cells. We were making headway. It was almost time to abandon this post, and seek fresh meat. Our host cell was becoming red and bloated, and it looked as if it were about to burst any day now.
Finally the day was upon us. We got word from head command that we would need to move out. Sure enough there was a large rupture in the cell that became our home for so long. One by one we slithered out. The landscape on the outside was cavernous and mysterious. Our army of foot soldiers assembled, and we moved out toward the unexplained future. As we advanced further and further we could see the ruins of destroyed cells littering the land. We also saw cells in the process of takeover. We were getting closer to our dream. Total domination of the host. We saw our new target in the distance. A small, sturdy looking bubble of life. There was a problem, however. Between our army and the cell lie a huge obstacle. We were faced with a dangerous and violent looking opposing force. They were stark white, and armed to the teeth. Their ranks were organized and ready. At their helm, a commander loomed, ready to pounce. These white cells looked to stop us from advancing on the new target. Battle was inevitable. We prepared ourselves as best we could. Our swarm engaged the enemy. There was much carnage. The battlefield was littered with genetic material. Spindles of DNA, chunks of RNA, proteins and fats. We had lost. It is as if they knew all of our weak points. The white cells moved among our corpses like foxes. They gorged on our material and became stronger with each chomp. We were too late.

All along the colony our kind was being destroyed. These superior white blood cells were battering us. They knew everything. All of our plans. Their numbers were growing, as ours were dwindling. This was our eradication. When the last of us fell, the white cells let out a triumphant roar. They had won. But our kind will persevere. In bodies across the world. We will spread our code.

Friday, August 28, 2009

The Collector

From the moment I saw his face I knew he was evil. More importantly, it was his eyes. Bright, lying blue eyes. He had the innocent look of a child, but you could tell. Behind the innocent face was a lying, manipulative bastard. I handed him my credit card uneasily. I had no choice. I had to. He took it in his boyish hands, and swiped it in the machine with a sly smirk. He had me. The fuck had won. I took my card back quickly and grabbed my bag of goods. “ Have a nice day,” he said with a phony vocal inflection. “ Yeah,” I mumbled as I fled the tiny boutique. The street was its usual cluster fuck of people. Tourists, workers, homeless, and traffic. God this place sucked.
I walked up to a street meat cart and got in line. I was starving. I spaced out for a moment staring at two pigeons fighting over a French fry. “ Next!” I heard. Oh shit, that’s me. “Uh… I’ll take a hot Italian sausage with peppers and onions.”
“That’ll be 3.50.” The grimy salesmen barked. I followed the line to the next man who was grilling the assorted meats. He handed me a deliciously greasy sausage, with all the fixings.
“Thanks.” I said. The man did not respond. He just eyed me, and then eyed the tip jar. There was no way in fuck I was going to tip these crude bastards. I took my prized sausage around the corner to a park bench and devoured it in about 30 seconds. I was sure my face was stained with mustard or hot sauce, but I just didn’t care. I sat for a little bit longer. I looked in my bag. The boss had better be pleased. I finally got up and rounded the corner to the bus stop. I waited for about 10 minutes before the big blue bus screeched in front of me. I got on and whipped out my wallet. I quickly flashed the driver my metro pass and kept walking. He stopped me with a grubby hand on my back. “ Hey buddy, that things expired. The new ones are green.”
“ I just got the thing yesterday,” I lied.
“Bullshit, fare is a buck and a quarter, pay or get the hell off.”
“I’m not paying the fare, I have a pass!” I started to get angry, even though I knew I was wrong. I couldn’t give up the lie just yet.
“Well, what are you gonna do, you’re holdin’ me up!”
“I bought this pass from the metro station on Venture, from a lady named Linda, call and check with her. It can’t be expired”
“I’m not taking your bullshit, pay or get the fuck off!”
Suddenly a teenager walked up and waved two dollars.
“Here, just take this, I’m gonna be late for Christ sakes.
“No, no, fuck it, I’m outta here.”
I stomped out of the bus and flicked the driver off as I left. Goddamn, I have to get a new pass. I should’ve just taken that kids money.
Now I was going to be late. The boss was going to be pissed as usual. I kicked a littered McDonalds bag in frustration. It hit the shoes of a businessman who was walking by.
“Hey, you better fuckin’ watch it. I’ll fuckin’ bury you!” he snarled, but kept walking. I hate this damn city. I continued my walk down the long crowded street. I clenched the blue double bag tightly. If I lose this, I’m up shit’s creek without a goddamn paddle.
Up ahead on the sidewalk was a male and female arguing. They must have been married, I could tell by their language.
“Honey, I’m sorry, but we can’t afford to go out every night”
“Oh but you can afford all those porno movies every night!”
“Those aren’t…“
She cut him off, “Yeah, I see the bills, get away from me you disgusting pig!”
The woman walked faster ahead. The husband hurried to console her. What’s the point. They’re just going to end up old and cranky, like every couple ever. I’m so happy I’m single. I slowly reached my destination. I was sweating and out of breath. It must have been 100 degrees in this shit hole valley. I approached the boss’ house. I slid my face to the intercom and pressed the speak button. “It’s Joe, let me in.”
“You’re late Joe.”
“God dammit, I know, just let me in.”
There was a slight pause. Then the gate swung open. I staggered up the long winding driveway, still clutching the bag tightly. After what seemed like a decade, I reached the goddamn porch. I walked over and opened the big wooden door. I entered the same way I had hundreds of times before. Past the kitchen, past the john, right into the living room where the boss usually sat. This time was no different. When I entered, he was lying on the large leather couch, sipping a cocktail. Cartoons were playing on the massive screen in front of him. Not anime, or adult cartoons, but children’s programming. The fat fuck still watched cartoons. I don’t know why.
“What do you have for me?” he mused. He stroked his mustache like some kind of movie villain.
“Here,” I took a small green box out of my bag and handed it to him. He popped it open and examined it closely.
“ Hmm..” He sat silent for a moment. Damn, I knew he wouldn’t like it.
“You know I already have one like this!” He began to get unruly.
“Hey man, it was the only one they had!” Again I lied. I could have gone to a different boutique, but neglected to.
“Take it back. I don’t want that shit in my house.”
He practically threw the box back at me. “Be gone,” he said with an air of arrogance.
“Get out! That means fucking leave!” He shooed me out. I left in a depressed slump. Fuck this job. What did I ever do to deserve this? I was back on the streets. There was no way I would get to the store in time, so I just sat on .the curb and stared, blankly. Traffic was zooming by, left and right. I opened the green box, took out the stupid Chewbacca figurine, and threw it into the street. With my luck, it bounced up and struck a Cadillac. The driver immediately pulled over, got out and lunged at me. Oh shit, how am I going to get out of this one?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My Big Day

I dreamt restlessly that day, tossing and turning. My dreams were the very definition of strange. Colors and swirls of offices and mops, dazzling lights and filing cabinets. I awoke a minute before my alarm clock would tell me to awake. I turned it off with some haste and lay there for a minute, still, delirious. Today was my interview, my big day. I finally rose from my stiff air mattress, and headed to the washroom. Should I shave? Well maybe just a little touch up. I meandered back to my room and found my one shirt that contained a collar. It was a green shirt. I was dressed to impress, sort of. I gathered all of the spare change on my desk and headed out into the world.

It was hot out, must have been 85 degrees already. I headed down the sidewalk toward the bus stop on Ventura. At the corner, some road rage was brewing.
"Hey asshole get a move on", followed by a bundle of angry horn honks. Still I kept walking. Past the mini mart, past the law offices. Past the borderline run down Mexican kitchen. Past the homeless, the employed, the confused. I finally came up to the bus stop. I'd never taken the bus before. I had myself a seat at the bus stop. The bus arrival time was set at 10:58 am, and it came right about that time. Only it didn't stop for me, it kept right on going. I stood up confused, and then realized that you must stand practically in the road for the bus to stop for you. So I sat around and waiting for the next round. A half hour later, another orange bus came shooting down the boulevard. This time I was determined to get on. I stood poised, and sure enough the bus driver pulled to the side and picked me up.

I boarded the large, loud vehicle, paid my fare, and had a seat. I was one of four passengers on the morning bus. We got going down the busy morning street. We stopped to pick up some passengers at the next stop. A disheveled gentleman entered, walked back and took a seat. He nervously glanced around, took a flask of cheap vodka from his pocket and took a swig. He squirmed around in his seat for about thirty seconds before going to the driver and asking to get off the bus. He exited. The entire bus smelled of his cheap putrid vodka. It was 11 in the morning. Still the bus kept on moving. We crawled through the morning traffic. I sat and mentally prepared for my big interview. I would be ready for this one. I practiced some responses I had cooked up in my mind. Finally we neared the stop. Hart Street. I pulled the weird metal cord to signal the bus to stop, thanked the driver, and exited the machine.

I needed to walk a couple blocks to reach the office. It was on Canby Avenue, surely a big street. I walked and walked. I was still a half hour early somehow. I finally arrived at a large desolate looking building. Suite 108 was painted on the door in front of me. Taking a deep breath, I entered the building. A young attractive woman greeted me.
"Hi are you here for the interview? Name please."
I responded with my name, and she handed me a paper to fill out. I sat down in the waiting room and nervously filled out the application. There was loud rap music playing from a door adjacent to the waiting room. The secretary and another applicant were chatting nearby.
" Yeah, me and my friends used to go to Vegas a lot, but then I found the lord."
"Oh, yeah I know how tempting a place like that can be."
"Ya know I just feel so much better knowing that Jesus loves me."
Just then the door opened, and the music got louder. A thin strung out Asian gentleman stood, dressed in a black suit looked around the waiting room.
"Who's next Nancy?" He screamed over the loud music.
" Oh I'll send Tim in, here is his application."
I watched Tim in his full suit walk into the room. I heard some sort of yelling coming from the other side of the door. The door opened about 30 seconds later, and Tim sauntered out.
" They only hire people with cars, good luck".
"Well, I hope Jesus guides you on your job search." The strange secretary shouted. He was gone.
Finally after waiting for what seemed like forever, Ryder, the Vice President called all the remaining males into the room. We looked at each other and then him, and entered the office.
The office was a small room that had several paintings on the walls. There was Donald Trump's newest book lying on the table. We filed our way in and stood in front of Ryder.
" Hey guys how are you doing today."
Before we could answer he was already going into his pitch.
" Do you guys want to make money? I mean a lot of money? While you guys have been standing in here I have already made about 1000 dollars. What I did was get trained and then kicked everyone's asses in sales. I made my way up to this office. We have offices all over the United States. I'm talking Chicago, Cleveland, Miami, Florida, uh, Cincinnati, places all over. So many opportunities. If you get sick of it here in Los Angeles I'll fly you out to a new city, take you around in a helicopter to see if you like the city. You see that book, That's Trump’s book. I follow it like a bible. It’s a guide you know, guide's are perfect. It's like if you go to Hong Kong and eat a Big Mac, it tastes the same as a Big Mac you eat in California. Because they are all made with a guide. That's what we train you on. A guide for you to make money. Then you make residual income. You get like eight people under you, and make a ton of money. I make money when I am hanging out with my friends. If you are good you can make 80 thousand a year."
Just then someone cut him off.
" So it's a pyramid scheme?"
"Oh no no nothing like that"
" Yeah, I'm out of here, thanks."
The gentleman that spoke up left the room. I followed him. Once we got out of the office the man spoke to me.
“I knew it was a scam.”
“Yeah, what a crock of shit.” I responded, as we walked our separate ways.
“Well, good luck with your job search.” He yelled.
I reciprocated the same message of good luck. Was luck what we needed to find jobs? Certainly luck did not lead me here today. I wandered back to the bus stop, and got on. The bus was crowded, it was now midday. I nestled in and grabbed a hold of the metal bar. I rode the bus all the way home. The job search continues. Good luck.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Day Two

Tom burst out of the bathroom with a strange look on his face. He had done something questionable in the bathroom. "Do not go in there" He said and made a hand gesture that suggested that he polluted the restroom quite badly. " Oh God, I thought you just went at my place"
"Yeah.. well.. I had a second bout."
"You've got some serious issues man"
"Yeah.. I've been told. Lets get a table, I'm starvin' '"
They walked into the main lobby and a young hostess seated them promptly.
" I'll bring you guys some Cokes, and menus." She said politely.
"Sure thing dollhouse " Tom said jovially. The hostess gave them a strange look and left.
Tom leaned in to Smith. " I'm going to find out what's back there today"
"Oh God.. you're still thinking about that? I forgot all about that... in fact.. I thought we weren't ever coming back to this dump."
"Yeah.. well.. we're back, and I'm gonna find out what's going on."
Tom had a stupid look of inspiration on his face.
"Well.. don't get any bright ideas just yet, I'm hungry. I'm going to enjoy my meal without getting kicked out."
"Hey.. relax.. I'm parched too."
The hostess returned with menus and Cokes. Smith took a sip of his coke and puckered his face. " The syrup must be out, that tastes awful"
"Are you sure it's not some alien conspiracy?"
"Hey, don't be a dick."
The two looked over the scarce menus and eventually ordered their meals.
"So what's your big plan today?" Smith mused.
"Oh nothing.. just going to enjoy my meal"
The waitress rounded the corner with the two meals. On one plate rested a stale looking turkey club sandwich, on the other sat a delicious looking slab of prime rib.
The waitress set the prime rib in front of Tom.
"Compliments of the chef" She said with a deep smile. She then vanished back into the kitchen.

Tom immediately grabbed his fork and knife and prepared to rip into the steak.
"Are you serious? You don't find that at all strange?" Smith asked.
"Huh, It's a delicious looking steak, of course I'm going to eat it."
"Well.. Whatever, I just thought you would be more cautious since your last encounter with the inner workings of this place."
Tom cut off a large chunk of the medium rare meat and put it in his mouth and began to chew it vigorously.The blood was dripping from his mouth.


Tuesday, July 7, 2009


"Do they get bailout money?"
"Fuck if I know... ask the corporate office..or wait... who gives a damn, money is money." He had this sly smirk. We chatted about the company for awhile before he offered me his card. The plain white card with red lettering said "Jim", and offered a standard telephone number. No email address was provided.
"If you want in, gimme a call." he nodded his head at me as he left the cafe. The other patrons of the coffee joint looked at him curiously. Jim in his three piece suit. Stolen, presumably. Not physically I'm sure, but paid for with illegitimate money. This I was sure of.
I sat in silence as I sipped my water. My mind was a wreck. I didn't know if I was coming or going. Ever since I finished college, my mental scheduling was off. An illegal bank heist was the last thing I needed. But let me start from the beginning.

Prison, a jail cell. Solid bars. No daylight. Much like the corporate world, I thought. These things toyed with my mind as I watched the shadows grow and shrink infront of my cell, day in and day out. The guards always laughed as they walked by my solitary room. I was a big fat joke.
Wait.. wrong place.. i'll get there as well...

College graduation. Caps, gowns, cheap beer. Family and long winded speeches. Everyone had a smile on their face. Was it a real smile? Maybe. We were leaving the best time of our lives. It's a shame we were so happy when our paradise was being stripped away from us. I can remember watching all of the graduates marching like ants, receiving their piece of paper that they worked four long years to get. College was more than that paper. College was a distraction, an oasis.. One with no consequences. Consequences would get to me, as I'm sure you can figure out by reading the above paragraph.
That night I sat on the bench like a retard. The bench that creaked. The lead paint covered bench that sat outside my second story apartment ledge. I sat and kicked my legs like a kid. I had nothing new to do. No deadlines. I didn't know what to do with myself. So i sat and enjoyed the summer wind. I watched the neighbors move out for hours. My buzz was wearing off, I needed to get more vicoden. What a stupid drug though.. a stupid drug for a stupid person I suppose. I went inside and fell asleep on the couch cradling an old egg roll and watching miracle blade infomercials.

I gasped and wheezed. I panted and coughed. Ah, the great outdoors. My shoes were soaked as I ran from the sirens through the half melted snow. Weaving in and out of trees, I finally crouched near a large coniferous tree. The bark was rough on my fingers, but I held on for dear life. I needed to catch my breath. Goddamn I'd gotten fat. I was sure they were still on my trail, but from where, I had no idea. I had really fucked up this time, I was sure of it. This was the nail in my coffin. But that's only if I get caught... but I can't think now... I gotta RUN!

The funeral parlor was your usual mess of emotion and bad energy. Black dress and sorrow. You try to force a smile at a bad joke, but it's only a fake smile. Death has taken over your thoughts. The dark colors all around from the caskets to the floors really pull you down. As if the reaper was gently reminding you that your time is being counted as well. I finally got up the courage to view his body. When I finally looked at the cold body a feeling of anxiety swept over me. This could and should have been me. His face still had a large bloody scratch on it. In a way I felt slightly guilty. If the masses of sobbing people only knew that I was at Trent's right side, and didn't save him, I feel they would be less accepting of me being at this public funeral viewing. I felt bad for Trent, but in a way, i felt he was ready for this. He had given me his secrets. He trusted me to move on toward a destiny he paved for me. I gave his corpse one last look over, before turning and leaving that wretched place. Thanks friend, I won't let you down again. You have my word.

Saturday, June 20, 2009


What beautiful eyes you have.
Yes you.
You slender metal beast.
You are the God of the city.
I see you looking at me.
With your brilliant green eyes.
You tell me in code.
I can't go now.
I'd rather sit and stare.

Loud noises and angry energy attack me.
But I am transfixed.
What's that?
Oh.. you're so clever
you changed for me.
But only for a second.
a moment.

Ah, finally
You're blushing.
I am.
I am here for you.
What do you wish me to do, wise one?
You have my complete attention.
You have yet to blink once.
I'm impressed.
I hope I don't anger you.
Have I ?
More confusion.
Do you not adore me?
Was it the way I looked at you?
I hope to make amends
what's that in the distance?
Another pair of eyes.
These don't seem so kind.
Racing toward me,
with sparkling colors.

Why did you trick me
I thought you were trying to tell me something
but now
it's time to go away
to the steel jungle
for a long time.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Restauranteur

"They're usually pretty good" Tom said as he eyed the lump of organic matter on his dinner platter.
"Oh yeah? "
Smith reached over and poked the oddly colored mess. It responded to his poke by continually jiggling.
"What's this place famous for? I hope its not the eggs."
" I'm telling you,they're usually much better, maybe I'll check the kitchen, see what's up."
Tom got up from the creaky table and looked at the door to the kitchen. "Employees Only."
"So you're going to just walk in?"
"No, don't worry I know someone who works back there.. I'm just going to take a quick peek."
"Who do you know?"
"Uh... a kid named Ted.. or Taj or somethin.... I'm goin in".
Tom cautiously approached the door, but just as he was going to open it, a loud rumble shot out of the kitchen. Tom got a scared face and froze in his tracks.
"Someone's gonna see you, get back here!" bellowed Smith, trying to coax his moronic friend back to the booth.
" I gotta see what's inside" He walked closer to the door. Right as he was about to touch the handle, a sly looking waiter grabbed him by the shoulders.
"....And where are we going? Don't you know the kitchen is off limits?" He had a creepy smile with an extra creepy mustache.
"Let me show you back to your table, does anyone want dessert today?"
Tom sat back down at the booth begrudgingly.
"No dessert, just the check please."
"Let's get the Christ out of here" said Smith.
"Yeah... i guess we could go.. but I need to find out what's in that kitchen.. I'm coming back tomorrow. "
"Yeah, well good luck with that, I'm not coming back to this shithole again."
"Give me one more shot to get in the back, I saw something weird."
"We'll see."
They paid their check, left a poor tip, and fled the empty diner.
To be continued?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


"Make it two"
I said to the clerk.
"Two candy bars" I reiterated.

I leafed through the free daily papers on the counter. "does anyone ever take these?" I asked the young cashier.
" Only people like you," he wittily replied with a smirk.
" Like me?" I pointed to myself. " What are you tryin' to say?"
"Uh.. nothing.. never mind"

The clerk handed me my two chocolate bars with added haste. " Now you take care," he said and turned around to the television which was playing old cartoons. I grabbed my merchandise and threw a dirty five dollar bill on the counter. I then slithered out of the crummy convenience store back to my bungalow on the third floor of the 57 building. I wheezed as I reached the summit. I must have gotten fatter. I glanced at the candy bars. I waddled to my apartment door, fished in my pockets for my key, opened the door, and made a b-line for the couch. I rolled over the arm rest and settled into my usual Thursday night slump. I figured I would probably not move until the morning. My eyes began to get heavy as I prepared my body for some sleep.
Suddenly I heard a buzzing noise. My body jiggled as I jolted awake. What the hell was that buzzing ? I stubbornly grasped the armrest and hoisted myself up to investigate. The noise continued to beckon me. I followed it to the door. It was the intercom. I had never used the intercom. I answered it cautiously
"H.. hello ?"
"I got a special delivery fer Lewis, are you him?"
"Uh.. yeah.. this is him.."
"Well come down 'n get yer package boy!"
"Alright.. I'm comin' down."
I let out a large sigh and made the journey down three agonizing flights of stairs. I left the apartment building and saw a very short, stout man in a suit. He held a large package in his short stubby arms.
"You Lewis ?" he yelled to me.
" Yeah.. what do you want?"
"I want to give you yer damn package that's what." He puffed on a short cigar as he eyed me.
" Well here I am.. give it to me already." I waved my arms at him.
"You gotta sign fer it." He produced a clipboard out of the back of his pants.
"Jesus what else?"
He handed me the clipboard slowly.
" Ya better not pull any shit with me."He waved the clipboard at me." I may look small, but i'll wallop yer fatass."
I looked at him with a confused look.
" You heard what I said, now sign the damn thing."
" I think you could be a little nicer to me, and give me my package."
"Your package? You weren't even expecting it."
He spit on the ground.
"Okay buddy calm down."
The man stomped out his cigar, and yelled.
"C'mon out boys!"
Suddenly three more short, suited men rounded the corner of the building.
" Take his fatass out"
The three miniature thugs beat me up and left me in the street dazed and bloody. The leader looked at me.
"that's what you get for making fun of midgets!"
He threw the package at me. It opened up to reveal nothing. I had just been thrashed by a gang of midgets for something I uttered on a bus weeks ago. And this was my life...


This is my "graduated from college" and feel like a loser blog. I think I will use this blog mainly to write down random stories or poetry that I write when I am feeling creative. Feel free to critique it.. or not.